FUCK FUCK FUCK
I wrote an intro. I promise I did. I wrote this long post about how excited I am about this new chapter in my life, but it wasn't me, well it didn't sound like me, so I deleted it. I want to blog with my true voice and if that means dropping a few F bombs to break the ice, you got it.
School starts in a few days. I keep calling these safe days. I have two more safe days, Saturday and Sunday. Then... chaos.
I keep having these scenarios run through my mind where I can't find my class, or I can't find a parking spot, or I get pulled over, or I over sleep and then eventually everything bursts into flames... like a chain reaction sort of thing.
What if everyone in my class hates me and they are all metalsmith pros and I just sit there in my chair crying and wishing I was home with my cats?
I shouldn't have quit my job,
but I hated it.
I shouldn't have jumped head first into something I know nothing about,
but I want to build a life I love.
I need to make things. I have this artist's heart that won't let me work a normal 9-5.
So here's the journal of an anxiety riddled, foul mouthed, weird, little cat lady that quit her 8 year job dealing at a casino where she made more money then she ever needed to become a metalsmith.
I still have nightmares about college and I haven't been in years. I will dream that I forgot to go to one class all year so I failed and got kicked out. Wait. Is that not very comforting?
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll do great. I recently took a class and sort of lurked in the back and ran out as soon as it was over. Nobody is getting chummy on my watch. :D
OMG me too! it will be hard to just lurk, there are only 7 other students! but I'll try my damnedest.
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